SRK Dismayed as Gauri Khan replaces SRK with KRK in Chennai Xpress

The king of Bollywood has been checkmated again by the bad-boys. In an event which is considered to be the biggest tragedy in King Khan’s life after the movie Devdas, the star has been ousted from his own production house movie ‘Chennai Xpress’. Gauri Khan who is the owner of the production house “Red Chilies Entertainment” announced this today in a press conference. She was along with the new star-cast of the movie which included the charismatic actor Kamaal Rashid Khan (KRK) and the lucky charm of the entertainment industry, Deepika Padukone.

“Jitni nafrat humare liye SRK ke Dil mein hai, uss se zyada pyar Deepika k liye humare mann mein hai” was the only proper response given by KRK to several questions asked by the member of the press. The statement was so obviously controversial that gossip reporters were badly disappointed as they ended up printing the same statement as it is in the next day’s newspaper.

Deepika Paukone, who is under tremendous pressure to spill her fortunes on Rahul Gandhi by dating him, also graced the occasion. She said “Like all my other movies this character is again very different and tough. I am playing a bubbly girl who likes to party and have fun. For adapting myself according to the role I watched my previous movies several times and thus got myself into the character.”

Below are some excerpts of the exclusive interview given by Gauri Khan, to our exclusive reporter ‘Chitrakar- Patrakar’ (CP) on the exclusive occasion,

“Mam what made you select KRK over the King of Bollywood?”

She bursts out into laughter and continues to laugh for one full minute. She controls herself and speaks.

“King! Stop kidding me dude…. Alright, the difference between SRK and KRK is that SRK gets into controversies while KRK creates controversies. The times have changed now. Now you don’t need to be good Actor for acting, Singer for singing, all you need to be is a controversial celebrity and then you can do anything you want. More controversial you are the bigger celebrity you become. KRK is bang on for the job. More so it’s just an alphabet getting replaced, who would notice.”

CP after getting boggled by her response continued in a confused tone.

“About the movie mam, we have heard that you have reduced the budget of movie by 20 crores. Would it not reduce the in-demand jaw dropping, illogical action sequence which you must have planned.”

“Actually we have reduced the Marketing budget from 25 cr to 5 cr. Rest remains the same. With KRK taking the lead, we don’t require marketing at all. Dude we are not making Ra.One.”

“So mam, talking of Ra.One, some people are saying that by doing this you taken revenge on behalf of the audience of Ra.One. Is it true?”

“YES, Coz that includes me too.”

“Last question mam. Ok, after the sad demise of Sir Yash Chopra as such Sharukh has gone hapless and now that you have thrown him out of his own home production movie, how would he cope up with it?

“It is high time that Sharukh should hang up his boots. He should understand the situation and mold himself accordingly. Like I said no one needs an actor anymore, so he should only do what he does best.”

“IPL?”

 “ No, Dance in Baraats.”

After getting these responses our reporter went to a nearby Bar, opened a bottle of Royal Challenge and grieved for every man who could not make it large.