Azam Khan’s buffalos found at Lalu Yadav’s cattle house eating fodder

In a shocking development to the high profile lost buffalo case, the buffalos of Azam Khan have been found at the cattle house of the former chief minister of Bihar Lalu Prasad Yadav. This has opened up a new political controversy embroiling the two UPA allies.

It happened so that when Lalu Prasad was milking his cows he realized that each of his cows was giving a liter less milk than usual. He asked RJD MLAs to look into the matter and submit a report by evening. Within an hour one of the MLA, Gobarnath Singh found that there were some extra buffalos that had eaten into the cow’s fodder. After close examination he concluded that the buffalos belonged to Azam Khan, for which the MLA was later felicitated.

On asking how Goabrnath could determine the buffalos belonged to Azam Khan, he said, “ We left the buffalos in open. The first thing the Buffalo did was to go to a mosque, then to a temple and then to a church. This confirmed the non-communal nature of the buffalos and thus confirming that they belonged to Samajwadi party.”

“This is shameless, after doing fodder scam this fellow now wants to do Bhainsiya-scam. Shame-shame Lalu Yadav.” Reacted Mulayam singh to the happening, to which Lalu Yadav said, “This shows UP has huge malnutrition, if the buffalos came to eat high quality fodder to Bihar what can I do.” However when our reporters asked Lalu what was the source of the fodder he said ‘Bhupp !’ and shooed away the reporters.

Meanwhile the Congress party has asked both its allies to maintain peace and harmony and said that this could be BJP’s ploy to create differences between UPA allies. However BJP reacted and said that both buffalos and cows are sacred to them and they would never fall to such dirty levels of politics.

NDTV has termed it as another blow to Modi as the buffalos did not go to Gujrat for eating the fodder. While Sagarika Ghosh (who reported the matter sitting on a buffalo) of CNN-IBN termed it as another atrocity of UP govt as the buffalos could have easily been sent to Muzzafarnagar for providing relief to the riot victims.

Meanwhile Arvind Kejriwal has promised to establish an SIT into the matter if he comes to power in UP. He termed the matter as of national importance as it involved religious sentiments of Hindus. The BJP and some other political parties too joined him in the protest.

With Kapil Sibal giving 48 Hrs Ultimatum to AAP, Kejriwal gives 24 hrs to BJP for producing Proofs against Sibal

History repeats itself but who would have thought it would repeat so soon. The Aam Admi party who had recently asked BJP’s Harshwardhan for proofs against Sheila Dixit is now again asking BJP for proofs against Kapil Sibbal. Arvind Kejriwal even went ahead and gave BJP an ultimatum of 24 hrs for giving them the proofs and has threatened to go on a nationwide dharna if they fail to do so.

“Both parties are two sides of the same coin and are one and the same. BJP very well knows what all scams Kapil Sibbal has done over the years, but they are trying to protect him else Kapil Sibal would reveal BJP’s secret. We want BJP to give us strong evidence against Kapil Sibal else AAP members would go on protest in each BJP ruled state.” Said Aam Admi Party leader Yogendra Yadav.

Aam Admi Party even said that they would not just protest but unleash a scathing attack in form of interviews and statements by their leaders Ashutosh and Somnath Bharti which would not just prove hazardous to common man’s mental health but can disturb the peace and harmony of the nation.

Panic has struck in BJP’s camp after the threatening came in from AAP. While state police of all the BJP ruled state has started filling their water cannons, Chief Ministers of these states have already accepted defeat and are trying to find possible ways of settling the matter ‘Out of court dharna’.

Meanwhile a nationwide “Dharna Alert” has been declared after the threating of protest came from Kejriwal. When asked what is Dharna alert, this is what a senior police official had to say, “After the recent protest in front of the Rail Bhawan we realized that we need an Alert form which raises a higher alarm level than RED Alert. Dharna Alert means a full city can come to a standstill and life of almost every common man can be disrupted far worse than a terrorist attack. Seeing the imbroglio which is created now, I believe we can have similar situation across the nation.”

Commenting on the matter AAP leader Ashutosh said,” Incase BJP fails us; we would give Sibal videos of his own interview where he gave his zero-loss theory on 2G, which is an evidence enough to prosecute him.”

Congress party changes its symbol from Palm to Facepalm after Rahul Gandhi’s interview

In a move which some believe is an acceptance of realities by the Congress party as the party  changed its symbol from palm to face palm after Rahul Gandhi’s maiden interview. The move came in after Rahul conducted an SMS poll among congress workers asking ‘what was your first reaction after watching my interview’.

“After getting all pissed by the interview, we asked Rahulji if we should change the congress symbol from palm to facepalm, to which he replied RTI is a great tool and women need to be empowered. We then asked Sanjay sir what does the reply means. As per him and the secret language of Rahul baba, it means a yes. Thus we asked the election commission to change the symbol to Facepalm” said a youth congress leader, Ranchoddas Chanchad.

However Congress senior leadership looks at the matter in another way, they claim that this move clearly shows how close we are to the ideals of Mahatma Gandhi,

“See, if you cover your face with one hand it means Bura mat bolo and bura mat dekho (Don’t speak ill don’t see bad), but if you cover with both hands you don’t even listen anything bad. This symbol is nothing but embodiment of Mahatama Gandhi’s thoughts.” Said Congress Stalwart Digvijay singh, who added, “Previously Manmohan Singh ji was an embodiment of bura mat bolo, but with this genius move, Rahul baba has proved why he is having the number one job in the congress.”

Post the interview social media got flooded with jokes on Rahul Gandhi to which Congress leader say that this is the love of youth for Rahul baba, like how it happened for Rajnikant and Aloknath. Congress leaders have come out in full support of the speech and have somehow termed it as another moral victory for the congress party.

 “Rahul Gandhi answered Arnab’s question like an average Indian youth answers an examination paper. This clearly shows how well Rahul Baba understands the youth of the nation. I give 10/10 to Rahulji.” said a priest named Sanjay Jha.

However it’s not all gloom and doom for Rahul Gandhi as our latest report suggest that Facebook and twitter is filled with posts on Rahul with suffixes like ‘poor boy’, ‘my baby’, ‘molester Arnab’ and ‘Awwwww’ which shows a huge sympathy for Rahul and could turn into a huge sympathy wave for him and thus revive the fortunes of the congress party.

After Tea vendor Jibe on Modi, Mani Shankar Aiyar seen serving tea to Madam

Charged up by AICC meets atmosphere, family loyalist and congress stalwart Mani Shankar Aiyar, made a caustic remark at BJP’s PM candidate Narendra Modi by asking him to serve tea outside the AICC venue. However later that day Mani Shankar himself was seen serving tea to the queen of the Italian Indian royal family, popularly known as ‘Madam’.

Sources have told Unrealtimes that, Mani Shankar was roaming in the talkatora stadium inviting press reporter to take his interview and then later behaving as if they were the one chasing him and he was pretty busy. While he was doing so, suddenly came a voice cutting above the din, ‘Are Maniji Madam ko chai peeni hai, chotu chutti pe gaya hai’ (Mani shnakar, madam wants tea, chotu is on leave) can you get it. It was Sushil Shinde who was looking at him and was sitting next to Madam. Mani Shankar rushed towards the tea counter only to realize that the tea was over. He then charged towards the exit to find a ‘chai vallah’ outside and within few minutes he was seen on the podium with an aluminum tea-pot and paper cups.

“Mani Shankar Aiyar went out of AICC and initially could not find any tea stall. After walking some distance he spotted a tea stall by name ‘NaMo tea stall’. Too ashamed to buy tea from there he started looking for other tea shops. But then he turned around and saw other congress workers lead by Digvijay singh came running looking for tea. Before giving a second thought, Mani Shankar purchased a full pot of tea.” told a customer of the tea stall.

“No worries, if Mani took the brownie point this time. Even if he serves tea till the general elections I would remain the most trusted slave loyalist of the Family.” reacted the former chief minister of Madhya Pradesh, Digvijay Singh.

However Mani shankar’s joy turned to sorrow when Rahul found out that the tea was purchased from Namo tea stall.

The Cups in which the tea was served had a picture of Namo showing a ‘V’ sign. Rahul showed the cup to his mother asking if the V stood for Vadra, to which she said, ‘I wish’.

Sources have told that as a punishment for purchasing tea from NaMo tea stall, Mani Shankar was asked by the punishment committee to write the below words a thousand times:

“Mind your speech a little lest you should mar your fortunes (Our fortunes)”