In a bid to
revive the economy and the dwindling popularity of the congress party, the
Finance Minister in his budget speech played his trump card. He announced a
scheme of deploying slot machines (casino
gambling machine) at various public places so that the people of the nation
can revel (despite a loser budget). He announced that in the course of next one
year, the government would deploy at least 5000 slot machines at strategic
points, which includes places like Govt offices, Railway station, Sulaabh shauchalay
and even the Prime minister’s office. He told that the money required in
building such a big infrastructure would come from black money of various
politicians which is deposited in the Swiss bank. The Finance minister also announced
that within the next 24 hours, first such machines would be deployed in the
Lok-sabha Corridor, Specially ‘For those MPs who love to bunk long boring budget
speeches’.
Below is an
excerpt of the press conference post the budget speech.
PC(P.
Chiadambram): This is just the beginning. If congress comes into power again,
we would start a five year plan for opening big and small gambling points in
every corner of the nation. Going ahead we would open at least 50 world-class
casinos in the metropolitan cities.
Reporter:
What are the benefits of this project?
PC: There
are many benefits of this project. It has some health benefits and it would
generate employment. But most importantly it would provide inclusive growth
which is what the doctor has asked for. We cannot ignore our scammer and
fraudster brothers who are growing much faster than our economy. This would
help them to do scams without any guilt or shame. This would bring back the lost
tax payers money to them and thus would mobilize the economy. And well you
never know, with this move we might even cross the growth rate of scams and
crimes occurring in our nation.
Reporter:
You said, you would only use black money for building the infra. So are you
going to seize the Swiss bank accounts of some of our leaders for it?
PC: Are you
out of your mind? This is an investment from them. The people of this nation
now have the responsibility of giving good returns to our investors.
Reporter:
How much is project going to cost us?
PC: Around 500
crores. Don’t worry, even if there is a scam during the project, we would be
reutilizing the money in expanding the infrastructure further.
Reporter: Do
you have a name in mind for it?
PC: This
scheme would be known as ‘Indra Gandhi
Gambler Vikas Yojna’.
Our creative
reporter ‘Chitrakar Patrakar(CP)’ who
was covering the event got a chance to gamble on one such machine. The
machine was one of its kinds. Instead of fruit symbols the machines had faces
of the tainted UPA ministers rolling round and round. Just below the display
screen, there was metallic foundation of our national emblem on which engraved
was long list of various tainted UPA ministers with their scam amount along
with. The names were engraved as if it was the list of Martyrs who had lost
their lives fighting for the nation. Just Below all these names was written “Indra
Gandhi Gambler Vikas Yojna” in bold.
Display: Please Enter your name age and sex.
CP enters
it.
Display: If you belong to any of Reserved
Caste/Tribe/OBC
Then enter Rs 10 else Rs 100
CP was
unfortunate like majority of India. He entered a 100 Rs note and moved the
lever down. Faces of very UPA minister started rolling in front of his eyes and
finally the counter stopped, with images of Sonia Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi and
Salman Khurshid in front of him.
Display: “You have got an NGO grant. Please Collect the money”
Seven 10
paise and one 1 paise coin fell down in the bin. CP was not satisfied with it.
He continued to play for the next two hours. After watching the beautiful faces
of almost all the UPA ministers and wasting almost ten thousand rupees, the
moment arrived. All the light bulbs began to flash, the machine started to
shake. Three faces of our ex- telecom minister A.Raja displayed and the machine
started playing our national song.
Display:
Jackpot! Jackpot!
Jackpot! Jackpot!
Jackpot! Jackpot!
You just
won a 2G Spectrum
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