As Nitish Kumar gives indications of joining UPA, CBI conducts Mock raid at his house

In line with fire drills conducted at corporate offices, CBI conducted a mock raid at the residence of Bihar Chief Minister Nitish Kumar after he gave clear indications of joining the UPA coalition. UPA took this step to get Nitish at par with great leaders of UPA like Mulayam, Mayawati and Karunanidhi who are veterans in handling CBI raids.

“This is a routine training exercise done every time a new party joins the UPA coalition. This saves them from getting a stroke shock when the raids actually happens and also makes the whole process very smooth whenever it happens. It even helps us to train new hires and utilize employees sitting on bench before they go live and conduct an actual raid”, Said a senior officer of the CBI, who once worked in the HR department of an Indian IT firm.

The CBI officer also told Nitish that senior Congress members are already working on upgrading the coalition Management system software which is used for syncing up CBI and UPA coalition parties, for ensuring consistent support. The upgrade to the software requires a mere 50 line code change for which a 5000 crore rupee tender has been released.

Just before sitting into his white ambassador and leaving the premises of the CM, the CBI officer handed Nitish a Checklist with 10 Commandments points in it. Our highly placed sources within the JD(U) were able to secretly capture a photograph of the same for our readers. Below are the key points that were mentioned in it:

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Answer to the below statement only in Yes, else we would revisit your house                                                                                                                                                              

• Madam is the lord of the Coalition.                                                  
• Thou shalt have no other Lord.
• Thou shalt Never say NO to the Lord
• I’ll always remember the Gujrat Riot day.
• Thou shalt never ever mention 1984 Sikh pogrom
• Thou shalt not demand very very special status for Bihar
• Thou shalt not Question Chotu.
• Thou shalt honour the family.
• Thou shalt not call Madam by name.
• Thou shalt follow the herd.

When Nitish asked the officer, who are ‘Madam’, ‘Chotu’ and ‘family’ mentioned in the checklist, the officer burst out laughing and drove away. 

The article was published by Unrealtimes with few tweaks

Nitish Kumar: CBI