After being
an ardent follower of cricket for more than ten years, IT Analyst Lalit Modi
decided to move on and follow an unknown sport named Hockey. This happened due
to the widespread scarce spread by the IPL jingle “Jumping Jhapang thampak thampak” airing time and again on most of
the TV channels. This made Lalit to land on an unknown channel named Doordarshan
where an old recorded match of this sport was being telecasted.
“I turned on
the television to watch some old test match highlights. But whichever sports
channel I checked, I could only find international cricketers plying gully
cricket and this irritating jingle being played. This made me to search for
some peaceful channel and I landed on this ancient channel named Doordarshan,
where they were showing an International match of hockey.” Said Lalit in a
super exclusive interview given to the Nautanki khabar.
There is lot
of confusion surrounding this issue as some suggest that the game was last
played by the Moghuls in the 16th century, while others suggest that
it was played as late as the early nineteenth century. Sports buff across the
nation asked news channels to dig deep into the matter and come out with the
truth as this time the nation actually wanted to know.
On several
demands by the Supreme Court, Lalit was made to appear in the court rooms of
NDTV where in his official statement, he had this to say, “Hockey is our
national sport. India has won highest number of gold medals in Olympics in it.
It is much faster paced than T-20 cricket, and far more soothing than the IPL.
I won’t be missing a single match of it in the next season of Indian Hockey league.”
With those words, Lalit Modi was termed as a mad terrorist and has been moved
to a special cell of the Tihar jail.
“Calling any
other sport beside cricket as our national sport is anti-national. With
millions invested in IPL watching any other sport is blasphemy. I would
recommend stringent punishment for Lalit Modi.”Said IPL chief Rajeev Shukla.
It’s not
just the cricketing arena which has criticized Lalit. Mamata Banerjee called
him a Maoist as he did not respect KKR thus disrespecting people of Bengal. Minister
of State for youth and affair, Jitendar Singh called him an idiot and asked for
his proper medical examination fearing high dosage of drugs as the reason
behind making such statements.
“Lalit was
watching cricket only under high influence of Cocaine. This gave him a
hallucinating effect which made him visualize each player of the field holding
a bat. This made him come up with this imaginary sport named hockey. ” Said the
official spokesperson of National Anti Doping Agency(NADA).
However,
secret agents of RAW went ahead to probe this matter. One of their agents found
certain proofs which did corroborate with what Lalit had said. But one night
the might and wrath of BCCI found the better of him which destroyed the proofs
with him forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment